Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Again voted Best Newsletter, now 14 years in a row!
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter
and Joke List and is available in regular HTML and also in large font HTML for vision challenged readers.
  If you are not getting your subscription, click here    
Return to Webby homepage Coached Hosting | Software | Contacts | Privacy Policy | About | DearWebby on FaceBook | You have a friend @Webby!
High traffic web space on reliable Linux servers with the fastest connectivity.

Subscribe   |   Give a Gift Subscription   |   Unsub   |   Large Font   |   Write   

Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, March 28
Today, March 28 in 
2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed
a deal to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit.


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
8 The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. --- Harlan Ellison (1934 - ) Today's Bonehead Award: Mexican illegal who was released by Chicago authorities despite ICE telling them not to, went on to rape a three-year-old girl in a McDonalds bathroom as she cried "daddy, daddy" __________________________________________ On the Upper West Side of NYC lived an assimilated Jew who was now a very militant atheist. But he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its denominational roots, it's a great school, and completely secular. After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, "By the way Dad, do you know what Trinity means? It means the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost." The father can barely control his rage. He seizes his son by the shoulders and declares, "Danny, I'm going to tell you something now and I want you never to forget it. There is only one God... and we don't believe in him!" __________________________________________ __________________________________________ Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. "I am" may be the shortest sentence in the English language, but according to some, "I do" is the longest. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Puente, 34, Chicago, Illinois

Mexican illegal who was released by Chicago authorities despite ICE telling them not to, went on to rape a three-year-old girl in a McDonalds bathroom as she cried "daddy, daddy"

A Mexican immigrant who was released by Chicago authorities despite ICE telling them not to 'went on to rape a three- year-old girl in a McDonald's bathroom as she cried ''daddy, daddy''.' Christopher Puente, 34, is accused of sexually assaulting the girl at the restaurant on 600 N. Clark St. in the River North area of the city at around 8am on February 19. The alleged attack happened while the girl's father was in another stall with her brother, who had had an accident in the restaurant. However ICE had requested that police continue detaining the previously deported felon - who had convictions for forced-entry burglary and forgery. Despite his background, Chicago declined ICE's June 2019 request to detain Puente. ICE have said this is an increasingly common battle, with the agency reporting that Cook County, which includes Chicago, denied more than 1,000 detainer requests in 2019 alone. Puente's bond hearing in Cook County heard the little girl's mouth was covered as she began whimpering 'daddy, daddy' - before her father pulled her legs from under the door to get her to safety. The horrific ordeal was relayed in court where the accused rapist appeared for the first time. Robert Guadian, field office director of Chicago Enforcement and Removal Operations (ERO), blamed 'irresponsible lawmaking' for Puentes release. 'How many more victims must there be before lawmakers realize that sanctuary policies do not protect the innocent?' Guadian said. 'Puente should have been in ICE custody last year and removed to his home country. Instead, irresponsible lawmaking allowed him to walk free and prey on our most vulnerable,' he told Fox News. Images of Puente on surveillance footage were circulated through a community alert and he was later brought in by police for an unrelated criminal trespass before being linked to the assault case. He was charged with criminal trespass after refusing to leave a local business in River North. While investigating, officers recognized him as being the man pictured and he was linked to the sexual assault case. The accused is said to have admitted to investigators he put the toddler on his lap, sexually assaulted her and covered her mouth to stop her calling for help.
DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: David Re: Is Emergency Response mail phony? Dear Webby, Are these emails promising money from the "Emergency Relief Fund" real or phony? David Dear David RCMP, in a press release March 26, offered more information about the scam, which they say has surfaced in communities across Canada. They say the text indicates that the Emergency Relief Fund has deposited $1,375.50 into people’s bank accounts. “Do not respond. Ignore the text or delete it,” RCMP said in the release. “Afterwards, take a few minutes and share this information with family and friends to ensure they do not fall prey to this scam.” Have FUN! DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
: Your Internet #147

Two Catholic boys pass an Episcopalian minister. At the
sight of the reversed collar, one of them says, "Hello,

The other boy elbows him in the ribs. "He's no Father, you
dummy. He's married and has three kids!"


Greg and John were both fanatics about deep sea fishing.
Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other
big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they

So Greg comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells
John, "You wouldn't believe, but in da Bahamas I caught a
500 pound herring."

John says...." That's nothing, last time I fished in da
Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken Spanish
ship and da candle was still burning!"

They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was

Finally, John said to Greg...." Look Greg, if you take 450
pounds from off your herring I'll blow out my candle ! "


With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband
said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend
home for supper tonight."

His wife replied, "What? Are you crazy? The house is
a mess, I didn't have time to go shopping, all the
dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a
fancy meal tonight!"

The husband said, "I know all that."

"Then why in the world did you invite your friend for
supper tonight?" asked the wife.

The guy answered, "Because the poor fool is thinking
about getting married."

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today March 28

1774 Britain passed the Coercive Act against Massachusetts.

1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine.

1834 The U.S. Senate voted to censure President Jackson for
the removal of federal deposits from the Bank of the United

1854 The Crimean War began with Britain and France
declaring war on Russia.

1864 A group of Copperheads attack Federal soldiers in
Charleston, IL. Five were killed and twenty were wounded.

1865 Outdoor advertising legislation was enacted in New
York. The law banned "painting on stones, rocks and trees."

1885 The Salvation Army was officially organized in the

1898 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a child born in the
U.S. to Chinese immigrants was a U.S. citizen. This meant
that they could not be deported under the Chinese Exclusion

1905 The U.S. took full control over Dominican revenues.

1910 The first seaplane took off from water at Martinques,
France. The pilot was Henri Fabre.

1911 In New York, suffragists performed the political play
"Pageant of Protest."

1917 During World War I the Women’s Army Auxiliary Corps
(WAAC) was founded.

1922 Bradley A. Fiske patented a microfilm reading device.

1930 Constantinople and Angora changed their names to
Istanbul and Ankara respectively.

1933 In Germany, the Nazis ordered a ban on all Jews in
businesses, professions and schools.

1938 In Italy, psychiatrists demonstrated the use of
electric-shock therapy for treatment of certain mental

1939 The Spanish Civil War ended as Madrid fell to
Francisco Franco.

1941 The Italian fleet was defeated by the British at the
Battle of Matapan.

1942 British naval forces raided the Nazi occupied French
port of St. Nazaire.

1945 Germany launched the last of the V-2 rockets against

1947 The American Helicopter Society revealed a flying
device that could be strapped to a person's body.

1962 The U.S. Air Force announced research into the use of
lasers to intercept missiles and satellites.

1963 Sonny Werblin announced that the New York Titans of
the American Football League was changing its name to the
New York Jets. (NFL)

1967 Raymond Burr starred in a TV movie titled "Ironside."
The movie was later turned into a television series.

1968 The U.S. lost its first F-111 aircraft in Vietnam when
it vanished while on a combat mission. North Vietnam
claimed that they had shot it down.

1974 A streaker ran onto the set of "The Tonight Show
starring Johnny Carson."

1979 A major accident occurred at Pennsylvania's Three Mile
Island nuclear power plant. A nuclear power reactor
overheated and suffered a partial meltdown.

1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, Indonesian terrorists hijacked
an airplane. Four of the five terrorists were killed on
March 31.

1986 The U.S. Senate passed $100 million aid package for
the Nicaraguan contras.

1986 More than 6,000 radio stations of all format varieties
played "We are the World" simultaneously at 10:15 a.m. EST.

1990 In Britain, a joint Anglo-U.S. "sting" operation ended
with the seizure of 40 capacitors, which can be used in the
trigger mechanism of a nuclear weapon.

1991 The U.S. embassy in Moscow was severely damaged by

2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal
to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit.

2020  smiled.

Go to TOP

If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, or at least
your favorite nickname, please tell me. I can correct that in two
seconds and greet you properly from then on.

If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't have time to
subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me. I will gladly enter them
for you and send them a confirmation request.

To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY
or write to

If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed with this address:

Unsubscribe from the regular HTML version:
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular version

Unsubscribe from the LARGE FONT HTML version
UNSUBSCRIBE from the Large Font version

      |    DearWebby on FaceBook
Search the web for:
  Recommended Resources  
Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download
Find a human
Bypass voice menus

Web Tools

handy program downloads

Click here for a FREE
30 day trial

This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still
The Best
spam control

REVO UNinstaller

UNinstall completely and safely whatever you don't want anymore. I have used it for many years and highly recommend it. It even does an inventory of what you got and shows long forgotten stuff.
Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster.

Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.

Babelfish Translator
Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters

Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE

This Undeleter will
easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery?

SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!

All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!

 Where is YOUR site? 
High  traffic hosting on UNIX servers Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.

Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!

Software for your own postcard  site
Postcard Site
You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder:

Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby

Click here to order YOUR ad  to be shown here

Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.

Find newsletters

Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue

That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Click here to order YOUR ad  to be shown here

Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season

Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras


NASA Multimedia Gallery
Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web

Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events

Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite

, Please Feed
Dear Webby!

Affordable web space
effective privacy policy Privacy Policy

Unique visitors since 1/1/11
free counters

Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
free counters

Subscribe   |  Give a Gift Subscription   |  Unsubscribe  | Click here for Large Print
Go to TOP
408768     Check PageRank