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Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, March 19

Beautiful moon out!
Would be quite romantic, if the ladies were not hiding
so far away. 

Today, March 19 in
1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000 eggs in
Yokohama, Japan. 
More of today in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award: T-Shirt Gun Used To Blast Drugs Into Prison ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think. --- Dale Carnegie "Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago." -- Robert Heinlein _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for a coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative. One day, Moishe surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, "You know what? I've now become an optimist." Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up. But then Sam notices something isn't quite right and he says to Moishe, "Hold on a minute, if you're an optimist, why are you looking so worried?" Moishe replies, "Do you think it's easy being an optimist?" ______________________________________________________ Do you see the bear in the mountain? _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kerri Jo Hickman, 40, North Fork, Oklahoma T-Shirt Gun Used To Blast Drugs Into Prison An Oklahoma woman armed with a $1599 t-shirt gun successfully launched a package of contraband over the fence of a prison, but her smuggling attempt was quickly derailed by eagle-eyed corrections officers, investigators say. Police allege that Kerri Jo Hickman, 40, drove Sunday morning to the North Fork Correctional Center in Sayre and used a Bleacher- Reacher Pro t-shirt gun to blast a package over the fence. Prison personnel spotted the incoming round--which landed near a housing unit--and intercepted it before the intended recipient could scoop up its contents. The seized package contained methamphetamine, pot, cell phones, tobacco, ear buds, chargers, and digital scales, cops say. Upon seeing the container launched over the fence, corrections officers tailed the vehicle in which Hickman drove away from the medium security men's prison, which holds up to 2500 inmates. Hickman was subsequently pulled over and arrested by Oklahoma Highway Patrol officers. A search of Hickman's car recovered a second package containing contraband and the t-shirt gun, which is sold at The seven-pound gun, powered by a CO2 canister, can propel payloads up to 300 feet (or, as the manufacturer notes, to the top deck of most arenas and stadiums ). Charged with introducing contraband into a correctional institution, narcotics trafficking, and conspiracy, all felonies, Hickman is being held in the Beckham County jail in lieu of $200,000 bond. Hickman has a lengthy rap sheet, with drug convictions in several Oklahoma counties. She was in state prison until her release from custody in late-January of this year.
From: Rose Re: backup Program Dear DearWebby Could you recommend a way to back up my computer programs that is easy enough for a "technically challenged" person like myself, to understand? Every time I get advice, it's like trying to understand a foreign language. Thanks for your help. Love, Rose Dear Rose There is no point in backing up programs. If you lose the hard drive, you have to re-install them from the CD or download anyway. All you back up is the stuff you have produced or collected. If you are like most people, then your hard drive is organized like your purse. You might want to consider re-organizing it in such a way, that making back-ups is easier. If all your pictures are in various sub-directories in C:\!PIX, then you can simply drag C:\!PIX to a DVD You can use a similar idea for writing and accounting. Once you are organized, it's simply a matter of dragging a few folders to a CD or DVD or USB memory stick, but if you are not organized, it is gong to be a nightmare, no matter what software you use.
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A busload of Democrats were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field. The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians. A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer's field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he'd gone ahead and buried all of them. "Were they ALL dead?" asked the puzzled sheriff. "Well, some of them said they weren't," said the old farmer, "but you know how them politicians lie."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Olga for this story: My dad likes to amuse my three-year-old daughter, Tabitha, by "magically" pulling quarters out of her ears. On a recent trip to the store, Tabitha spotted a gumball machine and immediately began asking for money. I explained to her that the machine needed a quarter and I didn't have one. Wasting no time, she replied, "Well, look in my ears. Grandpa always finds money there." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Shopping for an Apartment Always make sure to note whether the utilities are included in the rent or if they are extra. You may think are getting a better deal on rent when, in fact, they have just separated the utilities from the rent. Utilities can add $50.00 to $500.00 to the monthly cost. ____________________________________________________
Mind blowing pictures from Hubble
___________________________________________________ At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year- old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-headed moron. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb asshole' is it?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother." ___________________________________________________ A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $24.95 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
TAKING A WOMAN TO BED What is the difference between girls/woman Aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78 ? At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story! At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the heck are you??? ___________________________________________________

Today March 19 in
1571 Spanish troops occupied Manila. 

1628 The Massachusetts colony was founded by Englishmen. 

1644 200 members of the Peking imperial family/court committed

1687 French explorer La Salle was murdered by his own men while
searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River, in the Gulf of

1702 Upon the death of William III of Orange, Anne Stuart, the
sister of Mary, succeeds to the throne of England, Scotland and

1748 The English Naturalization Act passed granting Jews the
right to colonize in the U.S. 

1775 Poland & Prussia signed a trade agreement. 

1831 The first bank robbery in America was reported. The City
Bank of New York City lost $245,000 in the robbery. 

1865 The Battle of Bentonville took place. The Confederates
retreated from Greenville, NC. 

1866 The immigrant ship Monarch of the Seas sank in Liverpool
killing 738. 

1879 Jim Currie opened fire on the actors Maurice Barrymore and
Ben Porter near Marshall, TX. The shots wounded Barrymore and
killed Porter. 

1895 The Los Angeles Railway was established to provide streetcar

1900 U.S. President McKinley asserted that there was a need for
free trade with Puerto Rico. 

1900 Archeologist Arthur John Evans began the excavation of
Knossos Palace in Greece. 

1903 The U.S. Senate ratified the Cuban treaty, gaining naval
bases in Guantanamo and Bahia Honda. 

1905 French explorer S. de Segonzac was taken prisoner by

1906 Reports from Berlin estimated the cost of the German war in
S.W. Africa at $150 million. 

1908 The state of Maryland barred Christian Scientists from
practicing without medical diplomas. 

1915 Pluto was photographed for the first time. However, it was
not known at the time. 

1917 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the Adamson Act that made the
eight-hour workday for railroads constitutional. 

1918 The U.S. Congress approved Daylight-Saving Time. 

1918 A German seaplane was shot down for the first time by an
American pilot. 

1920 The U.S. Senate rejected the Versailles Treaty for the
second time maintaining an isolation policy. 

1924 U.S. troops were rushed to Tegucigalpa as rebel forces took
the Honduran capital. 

1931 The state of Nevada legalized gambling. 

1940 The French government of Daladier fell. 

1945 About 800 people were killed as Japanese kamikaze planes
attacked the U.S. carrier Franklin off Japan. 

1945 Adolf Hitler issued his "Nero Decree" which ordered the
destruction of German facilities that could fall into Allied
hands as German forces were retreating. 

1947 Chiang Kai-Shek's government forces took control of Yenan,
the former headquarters of the Chinese Communist Party. 

1948 Lee Savold knocked out Gino Buonvino in 54 seconds of the
first round of their prize fight at Madison Square Gardens. 

1949 The Soviet People's Council signed the constitution of the
German Democratic Republic, and declared that the North Atlantic
Treaty was merely a war weapon. 

1954 Viewers saw the first televised prize fight shown in color
when Joey Giardello knocked out Willie Tory in round seven at
Madison Square Garden in New York City. 

1954 The first rocket-driven sled that ran on rails was tested in
Alamogordo, NM. 

1963 In Costa Rica, U.S. President John F. Kennedy and six Latin
American presidents pledged to fight Communism. 

1965 Indonesia nationalized all foreign oil companies. 

1965 Rembrandt's "Titus" sold for $7,770,000. 

1968 Students at Howard University seized an administration

1969 British invaded Anguilla. 

1972 India and Bangladesh signed a friendship treaty. 

1976 Buckingham Palace announced the separation of Princess
Margaret and her husband, the Earl of Snowdon, after 16 years of

1977 Congo President Marien Ngouabi was killed by a suicide

1977 France performed a nuclear test at Muruora Island. 

1981 During a test of the space shuttle Columbia two workers were
injured and one was killed. 

1981 The Buffalo Sabres set an NHL record when they scored 9
goals in one period against Toronto. 

1984 A Mobile oil tanker spilled 200,000 gallons into the
Columbia River. 

1985 IBM announced that it was planning to stop making the PCjr
consumer-oriented computer. 

1985 The U.S. Senate voted to authorize production of the MX

1987 Televangelist Jim Bakker resigned from the PTL due to a
scandal involving Jessica Hahn. 

1988 Two British soldiers were killed by mourners at a funeral in
Belfast, North Ireland. The soldiers were shot to death after
being dragged from a car and beaten. 

1990 Latvia's political opposition claimed victory in the
republic's first free elections in 50 years. 

1990 The first world ice hockey tournament for women was held in

1991 Brett Hull, of the St. Louis Blues, became the third
National Hockey League (NHL) player to score 80 goals in a

1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000 eggs in
Yokohama, Japan. 

1998 The World Health Organization warned of tuberculosis
epidemic that could kill 70 million people in next two decades. 

1999 53 people were killed and dozens were injured when a bomb
exploded in a market place in southern Russia. 

2000 Vector Data Systems conducted a simulation of the 1993
Branch Davidian siege in Waco, TX. The simulation showed that the
government had not fired first. 

2001 California officials declared a power alert and ordered the
first of two days of rolling blackouts. 

2002 Operation Anaconda, the largest U.S.-led ground offensive
since the Gulf War, ended in eastern Afghanistan. During the
operation, which began on March 2, it was reported that at least
500 Taliban and al Qaeda fighters were killed. Eleven allied
troops were killed during the same operation. 

2003 U.S. President George W. Bush announced that U.S. forces had
launched a strike against "targets of military opportunity" in
Iraq. The attack, using cruise missiles and precision-guided
bombs, were aimed at Iraqi leaders thought to be near Baghdad. 

2015 Apple replaced AT&T in the Dow Jones Industrial Average. 

2019  smiled.
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