Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Daniel, changing from one .att address to another .att
address is not going to help you. 
That is still at Yahoo.
I know you are proud to be called a yahoo, but I have told
you many times, that if you want reliable mail, you will
have to get a respectable address. 

Some people can fix the Yahoo spam control, but you
obviously have not been able to. Get a free Gmail account
and reliable mail instantly. On Gmail making filters is as
easy as falling into bed. Try it!


Todays Bonehead Award:
Pilot Busted trying to haul 230 Pounds of Pot
from Oregon to Texas
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 28 in
1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine. 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. --- Cullen Hightower ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This preacher was looking for a good used lawn mower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though." The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start. Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough." "Well," Johnny said, "you need to cuss at it sometimes." The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly its true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online'. So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! If you print that with a fancy font on some art paper, maybe on top of a nice picture, I think it would make a great Mothers Day present for grandma! ______________________________________________________ "Your girlfriend phoned to say she is pregnant. Your truck is over at her place in her garage now. My foot slipped when she phoned me while I was driving." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wayne Douglas Brunet, in jail in Texas now. Pilot Busted trying to haul 230 Pounds of Pot from Oregon to Texas A pilot, who landed his plane in Llano Monday, was arrested for allegedly attempting to distribute more than 200 pounds of hydroponic marijuana. According to the United States Department of Justice, Wayne Douglas Brunet, 64, was taken into custody by the Department of Public Safety. Homeland Security Investigators were tipped off to suspicious activity by Brunet Sunday night as he attempted to land his aircraft at an unmanned airport in Bulverde, Texas. Soon after, authorities began tracking Brunet's plane. According to an arrest affidavit, they noticed in his flight from Medford, Oregon to Texas he had only stopped once to refuel in Arizona. When Brunet landed for the second time at the unmanned Bulverde airport, he didn't stay for long. The affidavit states that he departed again after noticing authorities waiting for him on the ground. Officials said Brunet flew to the Llano Municipal airport where he landed at midnight. Brunet then attempted to flee the area but was quickly caught by DPS. Authorities said they recovered 15 duffle bags filled with vacuum-sealed packages of marijuana along with an estimated amount of $6,000 in cash. If convicted, Brunet faces between five and 40 years in federal prison. Officials said he is scheduled to appear at a detention hearing in Austin Thursday at 2:15 p.m. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Power bar style UPS Dear Webby How good are those power bar style UPS (Uninterruptible Power Supplies) ? Thanks Ron /i> Dear Ron They are mostly just hype and nearly useless. They usually last long enough to hit CTRL S and save what you have been working on on ONE program. During the first year you may even be able to do a controlled shut-down, but don't count on it. To keep working you need a heavy floor model UPS, but if all you need to do is save your work in progress, those power bar UPS'es might help until you can get a real one. With Laptops, of course, you don't have to worry about power failures. Even an ancient laptop battery will allow you a controlled shut down. Have FUN! DearWebby
I just came across this 2005 Bonehead award: BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gregory Alston, 20 of Baltimore, Maryland Carjacker Reports 'His' Car Stolen BALTIMORE - A suspect takes a car at gunpoint and drives it around for two weeks before the owner spots the car and has it towed. The thief then calls police to report "his" car stolen. Those events seemed so improbable that Baltimore police detective Gregory Jenkins felt compelled to end his report of the incident with the admonition, "Again, this really happened." "Another detective told me, 'Greg, you had to make this up,'" the detective told The (Baltimore) Sun. Police charged Gregory Alston, 20, Tuesday with armed robbery, possession of a stolen car and a handgun violation. Police say the carjacking occurred about 10:30 p.m. on April 20 when two women reported that a man armed with a silver handgun and wearing a black bandanna approached them while they were parked on a street in northeast Baltimore. The women said the gunman ordered them out of their car and sped off. Tuesday, one of the women spotted the stolen car in front of an apartment building about a half-mile from where it had been taken. She called police who towed it to the department's Northeast District station. Two hours later, a man called police and reported the car stolen. Officers brought the man back to the station for questioning. At first, police said, he insisted he had bought the car for $1,700 on March 11. Eventually, he confessed to the robbery. Why did he report it stolen? The suspect told police he had left his wallet in the car.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chicken Tortilla Soup Recipes Ingredients: 1 1/2 tsp ground cumin 1 1/4 tsp chili powder 1/2 tsp garlic powder 1/2 tsp salt, plus more to taste 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts 2 Tbsp olive oil 1 cup diced onion 1/4 cup diced green bell pepper 1/4 cup diced red bell pepper 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 10 oz. can diced tomatoes and green chilis (Rotel) 4 cups chicken broth 4 cups hot water 3 Tbsp tomato paste 1 15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed 3 Tbsp corn meal 5 small corn tortillas Garnishes diced avocado diced red onion sour cream chopped fresh cilantro cheese Steps: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Combine cumin, 1 tsp. chili power, garlic powder, and salt in a small bowl. Drizzle chicken with 1 Tbsp olive oil. Sprinkle with 1 tsp. of the spice mixture. Set the rest of the spice mixture aside. Bake until chicken is cooked through, about 15-20 minutes. Remove from oven, cut into cubes, and set aside. Heat remaining 1 Tbsp. olive oil in a large pot over medium- high heat. Add onions, green and red peppers, and garlic. Add a tablespoon of the spice mixture and 1/4 tsp. chili powder. Saute' vegetables, stirring, until they begin to turn golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add chicken, diced tomatoes and juice, chicken broth, hot water, and tomato paste. Stir to combine and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to low and add black beans. Mix cornmeal with 1/2 cup of the soup broth. Add the mixture to the pot and simmer the soup for 10-15 minutes. Add salt and seasonings to taste. Cut the tortillas into 2-3 inch strips. Place several tortlilla strips in the bottom of your serving bowls and top with soup. Top with desired extra toppings and extra tortilla strips. Enjoy!
Feel the adrenaline as you look at these pics
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Lisa for this list of new drugs for women: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for ol der women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .. Can we get naked now?. BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him for four hours. ___________________________________________________
Lets take a trip or two or three......
Thanks to Linda for this one: My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?" "That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?" A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh..what should I feed Lily for lunch?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 28
1774 Britain passed the Coercive Act against Massachusetts. 

1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine. 

1854 The Crimean War began with Britain and France declaring
war on Russia. 

1864 A group of Copperheads attack Federal soldiers in
Charleston, IL. Five were killed and twenty were wounded. 

1865 Outdoor advertising legislation was enacted in New
York. The law banned "painting on stones, rocks and trees." 

1898 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a child born in the
U.S. to Chinese immigrants was a U.S. citizen. This meant
that they could not be deported under the Chinese Exclusion
Act. 

1905 The U.S. took full control over Dominican revenues. 

1908 Automobile owners lobbied the U.S. Congress, supporting
a bill that called for vehicle licensing and federal
registration. 

1910 The first seaplane took off from water at Martinques,
France. The pilot was Henri Fabre. 

1917 During World War I the Women’s Army Auxiliary Corps
(WAAC) was founded. 

1930 Constantinople and Angora changed their names to
Istanbul and Ankara respectively. 

1933 In Germany, the Nazis ordered a ban on all Jews in
businesses, professions and schools. 

1938 In Italy, psychiatrists demonstrated the use of
electric-shock therapy for treatment of certain mental
illnesses. 

1939 The Spanish Civil War ended as with the help of Germany
the Communists lost and Madrid fell to Francisco Franco. 

1941 The Italian fleet was defeated by the British at the
Battle of Matapan. 

1942 British naval forces raided the Nazi occupied French
port of St. Nazaire. 

1945 Germany launched the last of the V-2 rockets against
England. The next one was a captured one fired into space in
the US.

1947 The American Helicopter Society revealed a flying
device that could be strapped to a person's body. 

1968 The U.S. lost its first F-111 aircraft in Vietnam when
it vanished while on a combat mission. North Vietnam claimed
that they had shot it down. 

1979 A major accident occurred at Pennsylvania's Three Mile
Island nuclear power plant. A nuclear power reactor
overheated and suffered a partial meltdown. 

1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, Indonesian terrorists hijacked an
airplane. Four of the five terrorists were killed on March
31. 

1986 The U.S. Senate passed a $100 million aid package for
the Nicaraguan contras. 

1986 More than 6,000 radio stations of all format varieties
played "We are the World" simultaneously at 10:15 a.m. EST. 

1991 The U.S. embassy in Moscow was severely damaged by
fire. 

1994 Violence between Zulus and African National Congress
supporters took the lives of 18 in Johannesburg. 

2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal
to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit.

2017  smiled.
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